Suffering
Words Are Insufficient
Part Six of a Seven-part Series
We cannot dismiss sorrow and suffering as if they are unreal. When evil rampages about, causing chaos, trampling all in its way, particularly those ill-equipped to defend themselves, there is reason to be sorrowful, to be angry. When a loved one dies, it is right to be overwhelmed with sorrow. The depths of our souls recognize there is something horribly wrong about death—any death. Every death.
The drama of The Broken Circle Breakdown was a look at the crushing despair of parents losing their young child. No doubt, there have been many real lives that have played out similarly. I cannot see what purpose is served by the deaths of any of these children. But, with a sovereign and good God, I have reason to believe the lives of all the Maybelles have been of great value…and that even their deaths are not devoid of value. And I have hope for the day when the stories of the Maybelles’ lives and benefits of their deaths will be revealed. Without this hope, I don’t see how I could be comforted.
These essays represent my struggle to come to terms with the existence of suffering in the world. But I understand that if you are someone in the midst of it, what I’ve written will fall far short of your need. Having the big picture in mind is very important and can soften the blows of suffering. But suffering comes to us like a sucker punch to the gut. What will help then? I don’t think there is a definite formula—every suffering is unique. You may need to sit by a stream for long hours, watching the ripples. You may be helped by friends who come along side of you. Perhaps you will be helped by them through advice and exhortation. But probably not. When we are in grief and despair, what we need (and we need this all the time, anyway) is empathy and love. We need people to be near. They need to speak to us, reminding us they are near. They need to remind us that we are valuable to them. They need to tell us they understand our suffering is real and that our sorrow is right. They need to listen. They need to sit quietly with us. We will likely be helped by praying to God Himself, asking for relief from the suffering, asking for comfort, asking for strength. We will need to be still and listen attentively for His voice. When our mind wanders, we will need to call it back to the stillness and to the listening. In the quiet He reminds us of what we need to remember. It may be a verse, or a truth, or the times when our mothers hugged us and said, “I will never let you go.”
Perhaps, if your suffering is for the loss of a loved one, what you need is time. Time to mourn. Time to be weak. Some losses will never go away. Perhaps you don’t even want them to. You don’t want to ever forget the empty place in your soul, caused by the loss of a loved one, for example. Perhaps you shouldn’t. There is something enviable about someone who has experienced such a strong love. Not everyone has been blessed with the experience of deep love. Some people find it difficult to love, at all, because they have experienced physical or psychological abuse. Some people live with profound emptiness because the people in their lives who ought to love them are inexplicably apathetic. What sorrows must have contributed to people who can muster no more than apathy? Suffering comes in many shapes and colors.
May God grant you the help you need, whatever it may be.
(End of Part Six of a Seven-Part Series)
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