We often resign ourselves to the habitual sins of our loved ones, compelled by the demands of grace. Sometimes these habitual sins are sins of obliviousness. Most people, if they understood they were sinning, would strive to do otherwise. But exhortation may well be met with incomprehension and, so, the resignation. Even so, resignation is not the same as forgiveness. The former is toleration, while that latter is an embrace, conscious that some of the stink of sin will rub off and linger on the one who forgives. Forgiveness calls for intimacy with the one who causes harm. Such forgiveness can feel like a betrayal of the self, a kind of self harm. But it is not self harm—it is an act of faith in the ultimate healings promised by God. This can mean our relationships are not necessarily defined by fair trade. The willingness to routinely extend more credit is an act of identification with Christ. We cannot do it with our minds bound to the earth, but perhaps we can bear it if we consider how it gives our Lord joy. – E.O.
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