The Sabbath had ended, but it was a Sabbath without peace and without rest. The evening meal had been perfunctory; food was eaten but as if it lacked flavor. Few words passed between the dozen-plus at the table, and many of those were barely audible. No one could bring himself to say, “Could you repeat that?”, lacking the energy or will, or fearful of stirring up any sort of irritation.
Life had lost its clarity, its possibility, its hope for the sad assembly. Fear and doubt had spawned a kind-of corporate indolence. Decisions required thought and energy, followed by action. What had once been routine had become daunting, due to mental inertia. Some suggested returning to their trades and their towns, but pride or possibly an awakened sense of calling made such decisions too difficult to face. Jesus had set each day’s agenda for so long now…
The food and dish ware were cleared away, and the men drifted off in twos and threes, like gray clouds They would reassemble the next day.
The three Marys now sat huddled together in a corner of the empty room. It had grown dark but none of the women were ready for sleep. They were all restless with grief, but Mary Magdalene and Mary the wife of Clopas were also on a mission of mercy—their intention was to stay up with Jesus’ mother until she dropped from exhaustion. Mary had been unable to eat from the time she saw Jesus paraded to Golgotha. Her sleeps had been fitful and the other Marys were worried about her health. They thought it might do her some good to talk out her burdens.
“I want to go with you and Maggie tomorrow to complete the embalming work.” The Marys had long ago given up calling each other Mary…it was altogether too confusing. Mary Magdalene had been given the nickname, “Maggie,” and Mary of Clopas was now usually called “Marcie”. “But I think I may be of no use to anyone the way I feel. Besides, I’m afraid of how I’d react if I saw his body…”
“Of course that would be very difficult for you,” responded Marcie. “Don’t you worry about a thing. We’ll take proper care of everything. We’ll go together and come back to you. We’ll make sure all is done according to the Law. You can be sure of us…”
“No…that’s not really what I’m talking about.”
“What are you talking about, then, Mary?” asked Maggie.
“I mean, I think he meant to come back from the dead. I want to believe he was right about that. I don’t want to find his body there.”
“Of course, Mary, he believed in the resurrection of the dead. I remember him teaching that. He was talking about rising into heaven for the new life. But, of course, he will leave his earthly body behind, just as we all must.”
“You do remember about Lazarus, don’t you? Jesus raised him from the dead, didn’t he? Lazarus had been in the grave for four days before Jesus told them to take the stone away from the front of his tomb. They tried to talk Jesus out of it—told him that Lazarus would be putrid from being dead so long. And yet Lazarus walked out of that tomb on his own. What a frightful sight he was: a stiff-legged mummy. He told me later that everyone but Jesus looked horrified. Most of them backed away. Lazarus said he would have laughed out loud if his mouth hadn’t been bandaged shut.”
“Yes, how could we forget, Mary. There is no question Jesus was given astonishing powers by God,” replied Maggie. “The seven demons that possessed my soul would have killed me if not for Jesus.”
“Yes, I dare say you have been brought back to life in another way,” added Mary.
“I don’t remember those days very well, thank God!” continued Maggie, but I know they were horrible. For a time after I was healed people would tell me stories of things I did, but I got so I would tell them to stop; I didn’t want to know any more. What horrible thing did I not do?
“The demons used to argue with each other inside my head. They would laugh and shout when I hurt myself and others. I have so many scars. But Jesus also healed me of my false guilt. He helped me to understand that I am not guilty of sins that I didn’t really commit. Others have not been so ready to accept this, of course, but this group that follows him—they listened; they have embraced me. This is my family. Will it survive without him now?”
“So you agree he could have risen from the dead, then?”
“I don’t know, Mary…I just don’t know…
“It’s the crucifixion that has me so twisted up inside, Mary,” added Marcie. All the powers he displayed these last few years and then…the slow, brutal death! It was bad enough that the scribes and Pharisees were able to abuse him at will, but to be killed by the infidel Romans! How could God permit it! Forgive me, Mary, but even Jesus called out to God on the cross, ‘Why have you forsaken me!’ This is what has troubled me ever since.”
The Marys bowed their heads together over this comment. The despair of Jesus on the cross, the apparent helplessness, the great indignity of his death…the shame had settled on them all. Their leader had hung, helpless to save himself, unable to lead them, unable to save his people.
“I am an old woman now,” Mary stated after awhile. “I suppose a mother always thinks too highly of her children. Perhaps it is a mother’s foolishness, I don’t know.”
“Perhaps it is a mother’s genius,” interjected Maggie, almost inaudibly.
“When he was up on that cross, I kept praying that he would call down the heavenly host, that they would annihilate that pack of bloodthirsty dogs pacing at his feet. I think that for a time I was nothing but bitterness and hate. No me…just bitterness and hate.
“Then I looked up at him and saw that he was gazing directly at me. A strange sense of shame came over me. Then, as if there was a voice inside my head, I heard him say, ‘I came for this purpose, to lay down my life for my friends.’
“Then the tears flowed from me like a stream. I’m not sure if I had cried before that moment. It seems I couldn’t have, so many tears came forth then. I didn’t know it was possible to have such a reservoir. I became weak and I collapsed. It was if the gravity of the earth had increased; I no longer had the strength to lift even my head against its force.
“Then I heard him call out to John, ‘Behold your mother.’ Then John came, lifted me up and comforted me.
“‘Who is this man.’ I thought, ‘who can hang on a cross bleeding to death, suffocating to death, and can look down on the free and healthy and take pity on them?’”
“I think there has never been a man like him,” added Maggie.
“But he is more than a man to me, Maggie, more than a son.
“I’m going to tell you two something I’ve never told anyone before…. Well, of course I talked with Joseph about this many times, God rest his soul, and with my cousin, Elizabeth. But no one else knows what I will tell you now. I don’t know why I am now ready to talk. I suppose I’ve lost so much I no longer care about living, I no longer care what others think of me…”
“What is it, Mary?” asked Maggie. “Whatever it is, if you want to share this thing, rest easy, we will not gossip about you. You are our sister. We will protect you.”
“You will find this hard to believe. Joseph was not the father of Jesus.”
“Mary! You cannot mean this! Of all people, you are the most conscientious, faithful, dedicated to your husband…”
Mary interrupted. “No, it is not what you are thinking; it is harder to believe than that. Mary took a deep breath. “I knew no man, not even Joseph, until after Jesus was born. Jesus was conceived in me through the Holy Spirit alone.”
Maggie and Marcie looked at each other. They had never known Mary to lie. “Mary…”
“No,” Mary interrupted. “Let me say this all now. I have begun; let me finish. This has remained buried in my heart for far too long. Hear me out.
“The angel, Gabriel, was sent to me. He told me God had found favor with me.
“I’ve wondered about that many times. What have I done that deserves God’s favor? Sometimes, perhaps today is one of those times, in my bitterness I have wished for a little less of God’s favor. His favor is certainly not according to our designs. But we must trust in his wisdom.
“Having Jesus as a son truly has been an uninterrupted miracle, though. Who could ask for such a son? This son of mine, when he was nine years old helped me to understand why God’s favor had fallen on me. ‘Mother, dear Mother,’ he said. ‘Do you not recall why Israel, of all the nations, was chosen and set aside by God to be his special possession? As Moses said, “The Lord did not set his affection on you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. But it was because the Lord loved you…”’ And so my son taught me at a tender age that God’s love was not dependent on me. This was humbling, of course, but it has also been the backbone of my soul. What peace there is in knowing the God of all faithfulness already loves me, that I have nothing to prove, no trial that I might fail.”
“Mary, how did Joseph handle this? He believed you?”
“No, no, he didn’t believe me. I tried to convince him but, really, what could I say that he could believe? Who has ever heard of such a thing? I think I broke his heart that day. He was very much in love with me, you know.
“He told me later that he had decided to divorce me. Again, what choice did he have? All experience implied only one thing: that I had violated our marriage and turned my back on our God.”
The other Marys glanced at each other again. “But he married you,” protested Marcie.
“Yes, that is so. An angel visited Joseph in a dream and told him that all was as I had said. Joseph then did whatever he could to protect me. He insisted on moving up the wedding day. I agreed, of course. All the relatives were puzzled by Joseph’s insistence on an earlier wedding, but they went along in the end.
“Oh, how the tongues were wagging when Jesus was born eight months after we were married! Joseph the righteous and Mary goody-two-shoes…not so innocent as they seem… But I’ve learned it is not the Godly who are full of scoffing and cynicism. The Godly are always on the lookout for God to do something amazing. It is the sinful, the selfish ones, who cannot imagine the possibility of good and innocence. They are to be pitied.”
“I hope you don’t think we are sinners because we have questions,” Marcie interjected.
“Oh no, dear. I know your questions are sincere. I know your love and devotion to Jesus are true. I think you simply have not grasped just how great, just who Jesus is.”
“There was something special about the birth, then?” asked Maggie.
“Oh yes. It must have been the worst of all births ever recorded,” Mary chuckled. “Well, at least at first.”
“I was fat as a loaded camel, miserable, driving Joseph mad with my clinging and complaining, when the mighty Caesar decided he needed to build a road or a brothel and had to finance the job. We were living in Nazareth but Joseph was required to go to Bethlehem to register. He wanted to leave me behind but I could not face my situation alone; I insisted on going with him. What patience that man had!”
“That must have been a great trip!”
“Oy, but that was not the worst of it. You wouldn’t think so many people could be from Bethlehem but surely it is the cradle of all civilization, because when we got there, there was absolutely nowhere for us to stay. Joseph, in his desperation, went from place to place, displaying me, hoping someone would take pity. But Israel is not the Godly place it once was. Some people even laughed at our predicament, calling us fools for having me travel in my condition.
“At last we found a place of shelter. Guess what a fine place we stayed in? We stayed in the stables of the inn. We had a stall of our very own that night. Joseph shoveled out my bed…”
Mary laughed at the memory and the other Marys joined in with her. “And then Jesus was born. His bed was a manger. Ah, this is why the young bear children; the old would never tolerate the poverty and the indignities. The young have stars in their eyes and can see only glory in the pathetic…”
“Why do you tell us of this birth, Mary? It is unusual; God let you live through it all, but how does this reflect on who Jesus is?” asked Maggie.
“Oh, yes, I nearly forgot.” Mary began to shake her head. “Then the visitors came. The stables were rather smelly, of course, what with all the animals nearby, but suddenly the place became truly unbearable. A half dozen of the shabbiest, down-home, country-boy- shepherds you ever saw suddenly darkened the end of our stable. They stared like they’d never seen a woman before and, let me tell you, I was a split second from screaming.
“But one of the poor men began to speak. He was self-conscious and awkward but he clearly was on a mission.
“‘We was in the fields,” he said, “mindin’ our own business, when this angel pops out of nowhere. He says we don’t need to be afraid, he’s got good news, joyful news…”
“He said it was news for everybody,” interrupted another.
“You’re scarin’ the lady. Be quiet. Then he says there’s been a baby born in town. This baby is the long expected Messiah, the Lord.”
“He really did say that…”
“Hush! Then he said we should go find him, that we would find him wrapped up in cloths and lying in a manger.”
“That’s why we’s here. There ain’t no other kid in town in a manger.”
“That’s true.”
“We checked.”
“Just feed.”
“Was that all the angel said?,” asked Joseph.
“Well, yeah, but then the sky was filled with angels, and they spoke together, ‘Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.’”
“Just like that.”
“Umptysteen of them…yup.”
“It was all so silly to me then. But I think God was making a point: ‘I know how simple man is; I know the poverty and the lowliness, and it is in these that you can see my glory. I am the great, all-powerful God, but I am meek and lowly. I am known by the meek and lowly.’
“That’s about it, I suppose. The shepherds told just about everyone around, I think. After that we got plenty of attention and help. The rest of our stay was much more pleasant. My baby was well cared for, praise God.”
“Well, Mary,” Marcie asked, “be plain with us, then. Who or what are you saying Jesus is?”
“My friends, I believe he is God in the flesh.”
“Mary, that is blasphemy! We all know that no one can look on God and live!”
“I have only begun to tell you the stories I know, the amazing things I have seen…and I am very tired…I think I cannot keep my eyes open for more than a minute, but I will tell you one last story now.
“One day, Jesus was having an argument with the Pharisees, as was his custom (those pompous windbags).”
“Mary!”
“Well, one of the gentlemen had the nerve to call Jesus a demon-possessed Samaritan! To this Jesus responded that if anyone kept his word, that person would never see death.
“This riled them up more. ‘Even Abraham died. Do you think yourself greater than Abraham?’ Then Jesus told them that Abraham knew him and rejoiced to see him. The Jews laughed at this, pointing out Jesus’ youth, and that Abraham had already been dead for hundreds of years.
“Then Jesus said this: ‘Before Abraham was born, I am!’
“They tried to stone him then, for the very reason you are suggesting. They said he blasphemed.
“And this brings me to where I am today, because my son clearly claimed to be God… many times. Either he is a liar, or he is demon possessed, or he speaks the truth.
“I have known him all his life. There is no more honest man than Jesus; I have never heard him lie. Furthermore, whatever he has instructed me has always proven to be right. I also know that he has cast out demons…you know this better than I, Maggie. The demons fear him; they cannot possess him. I am only left with the option that his claims to be God are true. How he can be God, I do not know; I only know he must be.
“So, I don’t know what you will find today, but I know that I must rest. You will let me know when I wake.” With that Mary walked into her room and closed the door behind her.
“Well, I guess our job is laid out before us,” stated Marcie. “The supplies are over there in the corner.”
“What do you think of what she has been saying?” asked Maggie.
“I saw a great man die, Maggie. I could have believed anything about him before I saw that. But they stripped him of his freedom, then they stripped him of his clothes, then they stripped him of his dignity, and then they drained him of his blood. What can that limp skeleton they peeled from the cross do for us now? Will we all follow his path just so we, too, can be the scorned of the earth?”
“Why must the wicked run the world?”
“When will our God return to Israel and bring us peace once again?
“Let us go to our duty, Marcie.”
The women went to the tomb of Christ, wondering who would help them roll away the stone that covered it. When they arrived they found the stone already pushed aside. They went in and found the tomb empty. They saw the burial cloths neatly removed and set aside. Maggie thought, “Wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger…”
Then it was their turn for an encounter with angels. “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has come back to life!”
The women ran back to tell the disciples about what they had found. Everyone was confused; everything was pandemonium.
But then Jesus appeared to many different individuals over the next 40 days. On one occasion he appeared to more than 500 people at the same time.
We don’t know much of what Jesus said or did over those days. We do know he spent several years with the disciples before he was crucified. Before the crucifixion, the disciples were a bunch of idealists, but spineless. The leader, the bold one was Peter. But while Jesus was undergoing the interrogations that lead up to his crucifixion, Peter was busy spreading lies, denying he had ever known Jesus. The other disciples were worse. They were laying so low no one even had the opportunity to ask if they were connected to the rabble rouser Jesus.
Things changed after the resurrection, though. It was only a few weeks later when Peter and John stood before the Sanhedrin in Jerusalem, where they proclaimed that they were acting in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. They told the great assembly, “You crucified him, but God has raised him from the dead!” It was no light charge to suggest that the men who were supposed to lead Israel in the service of God, had murdered one God had sent.
The men of the Sanhedrin saw the courage of Peter and John; They realized they were unschooled, ordinary men. They were astonished by their speech, and they also took note that Peter and John had been associates of Jesus.
The resurrection made bold men and women out of cowards.
Mary, too, underwent a change. She got a good night’s sleep, and when she awoke, all the talk was about Jesus risen from the dead.
Her sorrows were swallowed up, her energy restored. She knew her journey was not yet complete. She had many treasures stored up in her heart, and she knew it was now time to spend them.
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