Change

“The most recent presidential election was won on a campaign of ‘hope and change’. I was appalled about the change part. We had just, finally, gotten Buster out of diapers. Change is not a good word at our house. Or anywhere else. Change a tire. ‘You’d better change your ways.’ Change of life. Any change in a wart or mole. One last thing about change—it’s different. No one without children knows how fraught the word ‘different’ is. When used about your child it’s never good news. When used by your child it isn’t either. If a kid says. ‘You’re different’,  he means you’re crazy. If he says, ‘I don’t want to be different’, he means he’s going to skip school and shoplift. And when ‘the spaghetti tastes different’ he’s about to throw up.” – P.J. O’Rourke